Dr. Emmanuel L. Yanthan, MS (OB-GYN)
Obstetrician & Gynecologist · Updated August 2026
Women rarely raise this. When it does come up it is usually at the very end of a consultation about something else, phrased as an afterthought. And it has often been going on for years.
The reason to raise it is simple: pain during sex nearly always has a physical cause that can be identified, and most of those causes are treatable.
What it usually turns out to be
- Infection — thrush, bacterial vaginosis, or a sexually transmitted infection. Often with discharge or itching. Tested and treated quickly.
- Dryness — very common around and after menopause, while breastfeeding, and with some contraceptives. It is a hormonal change in the tissue, not a failure of desire, and it responds well to treatment.
- Endometriosis or fibroids — typically deeper pain, often alongside painful periods. Found on examination and scan.
- Pelvic floor muscle spasm — the muscles tighten involuntarily, frequently after a painful experience, an infection, or childbirth. Pain causes tightening, tightening causes pain. It responds to physiotherapy.
- After childbirth — healing tissue and hormonal change. Usually temporary, and worth mentioning at your postnatal visit rather than waiting it out.
Where it goes if nothing is done
This is the reason not to leave it. Pain leads to anticipating pain, anticipation leads to tension, and tension makes the pain worse. What began as a treatable infection becomes a self-sustaining cycle involving your body, your confidence and your relationship. Treating the original cause early stops that.
What a consultation involves
A conversation first — where the pain is, when it started, whether it is at entry or deeper, whether it is constant or occasional. Then, usually, an examination, explained before it happens, with a female attendant present, which you can decline or stop at any point.
Two things worth stating plainly. Whether you are married is not a medical question and does not change the care you receive. And nothing discussed in the consultation is shared with your family, your partner, or anyone else.
How to raise it
You do not need the right words. “Sex is painful” is enough to start with, and it can be the first thing you say rather than the last. If saying it out loud is the barrier, write it on a piece of paper and hand it across the desk. That happens more often than you would think, and it works perfectly well.
Would rather ask before coming in?
Send a message. It goes to the clinic, not to a public inbox, and you will get an honest answer about whether you need to be seen.
General information, not advice about your particular situation. No article can replace being examined. Evita GyneCare provides antenatal care, gynecological consultations and outpatient diagnostics; we do not provide childbirth or caesarean section services.